30 Things No Self-Respecting Woman in Her 30s Should Own
Welcome to Adulthood
Turning 30 is usually a time to re-examine your life and let go of the things that no longer serve you: a crappy job, your worst vices, the phone number of that guy who's never going to be Mr. Right. But, before you tackle the big things, the easiest place to start might be the inside of your home. So, if you're about to hit the big 3-0 (or are just embarking on a serious Marie Kondo-inspired decluttering session,) here are some things all women north of 30 should consider ditching.
Anything Overly Cutesy
Don't be like this woman, who admits her 10,0000 collection of Hello Kitty toys has turned off the men in her life.
That Uncomfortable Futon
If you're over 30, you're too old to not realize the importance of back support. It's time to save up for a proper mattress.
Cheap Bedding From the 99 Cent Store
Ditto cheap bed sheets. You can't get a decent night's rest if you're tossing and turning on scratchy, inexpensive linens.
Overalls, Seriously?
A young girl in overalls is adorable, but a woman over 30 in overalls looks more like an aging farmwoman.
Those Teenybopper Posters
Are those Justin Bieber or inspirational sayings posters from your college dorm still decorating your walls? It's time to hit up some local art galleries or online sites like 20x200.com to find some original artwork that you truly love.
Headbands. Nope.
Unless it's a flower crown you're donning for Coachella or Lollapalooza, headbands are best left to the grade school set.
"For Now" Furniture
Don't wait until some distant future when you're married and/or rich to pick out furniture for your "forever" home. By 30, it's time to start investing in a few classic pieces that you love.
Childish PJs
You don't have to exclusively wear slinky lingerie, but you're a grown lady. Your nightwear should reflect this.
Plastic Novelty Cups
If you've ever hit up a bar, theme park, or an event with a corporate sponsor, you've no doubt racked up a collection of free plastic cups, but over 30-ladies have no excuse to be offering their guests a beverage in a Medieval Times cup.
Clothing Hangers That Don't Match
Think about how much you've spent on your clothing, and give your closet a makeover that includes a set of matching hangers, please.
A Sad, Dead Plant
You should know by now whether you have the time and patience to take care of another living thing. If daily watering isn't your thing, choose a cactus or succulent, but don't let a pot of flowers wilt under your watch.
Furniture That Folds
Just because you can use folding chairs as permanent dining room seating doesn't mean you should. Your tush deserves better.
Basic Vanilla Candles
Oh, you love vanilla candles? So do 12-year-olds. It's time to up your candle game.
T-Shirts or Sweater With Animals Motifs
Nope, not even if Christian Sirano designed it or if your mom gave it to you.
Glittery Makeup
With the possible exception of New Year's Eve and Halloween, glitter has no business being a part of a 30-year-old's makeup routine.
Booty Shorts. Gross.
No one wants to see a 30+ woman's underbutt in too tiny of shorts.
Jewelry From the Mall
There is so much good and inexpensive jewelry to be found on Etsy that a 30-year-old woman would be a fool to keep shopping for cheap jewelry at Claire's alongside preteen girls.
Your Old Prom Dress
Go ahead and put it in storage, but don't keep it in the back of your closet like you still might bust it out to wear again someday. Does it even still fit?
Freebie T-Shirts
You know the ones, like that t-shirt from the marathon you ran in 2003 or the one from that 2005 girl's trip to Vegas. Seriously, unless they have major sentimental value, get some new T-shirts to wear.
Clothes That Don’t Fit
The body you have at 30 is likely the one you're going to have for the foreseeable future, so it's time to get realistic with yourself and throw away any clothes that don't currently fit.
Impersonal Souvenirs
Those generic tchotchkes you picked up from your trip to Paris or San Francisco in your twenties before you realized that buying an awesome dress or a piece of artwork was a way better souvenir? Add them to the toss pile.
Over-the-Door Full-Length Mirrors
Sure, everyone needs a good selfie mirror, but over-the-door ones scream "dorm room" whereas oversized mirrors placed up against a wall say "Parisian-inspired sophistication."
Worn-Out Towels
Hopefully by 30, you can afford to throw out household items like bathroom towels once they've become ratty and are past their prime.
Stuffed Animals
Sorry, Snoopy and Cabbage Patch Kids. You don't belong on a 30-year-old's bed.
Instant Ramen
By 30, you should have some quick go-to meals that you can whip together that are far more delicious and healthy than instant ramen cups.
Mittens? No.
Grown women need to use their fingers, even when they're hands are cold - something you can't do wearing childish mittens.
High Heels You Can’t Walk In
There's nothing sadder than seeing a 30-year-old woman slowly hobbling down the street, so just admit that 6-inch stilettos are not your thing if you haven't learned to properly walk in them by now.
Kitschy Picture Frames
Don't you think those "BFFs" or "Best Day Ever" photo frames would be better suited in a 22-year-old's dorm room and not in the bachelorette pad of a full-grown woman?
Those Shot Glasses From Spring Break
Considering that 30-something dinner parties typically include wine and civilized conversation and not belly shots, you probably won't need these in your entertaining arsenal anymore.
That Old Jansport
Between gym bags, briefcases, and oversized satchels, an adult lady has a lot of bag options. There is no reason why you should be toting around an old-school backpack.
