30 Things No Self-Respecting Woman in Her 30s Should Own

Cupcake with candles for thirtieth birthday

Welcome to Adulthood

Turning 30 is usually a time to re-examine your life and let go of the things that no longer serve you: a crappy job, your worst vices, the phone number of that guy who's never going to be Mr. Right. But, before you tackle the big things, the easiest place to start might be the inside of your home. So, if you're about to hit the big 3-0 (or are just embarking on a serious Marie Kondo-inspired decluttering session,) here are some things all women north of 30 should consider ditching.

Hello Kitty

Anything Overly Cutesy

Don't be like this woman, who admits her 10,0000 collection of Hello Kitty toys has turned off the men in her life.

Brown Futon

That Uncomfortable Futon

If you're over 30, you're too old to not realize the importance of back support. It's time to save up for a proper mattress.

99 Cent bed sheets

Cheap Bedding From the 99 Cent Store

Ditto cheap bed sheets. You can't get a decent night's rest if you're tossing and turning on scratchy, inexpensive linens.

Woman in overalls

Overalls, Seriously?

A young girl in overalls is adorable, but a woman over 30 in overalls looks more like an aging farmwoman.

Justin Bieber Poster
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Those Teenybopper Posters

Are those Justin Bieber or inspirational sayings posters from your college dorm still decorating your walls? It's time to hit up some local art galleries or online sites like 20x200.com to find some original artwork that you truly love.

Young women wearing headbands

Headbands. Nope.

Unless it's a flower crown you're donning for Coachella or Lollapalooza, headbands are best left to the grade school set.

Furniture making instructions

"For Now" Furniture

Don't wait until some distant future when you're married and/or rich to pick out furniture for your "forever" home. By 30, it's time to start investing in a few classic pieces that you love.

Young woman in pink PJ’s

Childish PJs

You don't have to exclusively wear slinky lingerie, but you're a grown lady. Your nightwear should reflect this.

Star Wars episode VII party cups
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Plastic Novelty Cups

If you've ever hit up a bar, theme park, or an event with a corporate sponsor, you've no doubt racked up a collection of free plastic cups, but over 30-ladies have no excuse to be offering their guests a beverage in a Medieval Times cup.

Coat Hangers

Clothing Hangers That Don't Match

Think about how much you've spent on your clothing, and give your closet a makeover that includes a set of matching hangers, please.

Dead plant in pot

A Sad, Dead Plant

You should know by now whether you have the time and patience to take care of another living thing. If daily watering isn't your thing, choose a cactus or succulent, but don't let a pot of flowers wilt under your watch.

Folding chair

Furniture That Folds

Just because you can use folding chairs as permanent dining room seating doesn't mean you should. Your tush deserves better.

Woman buying candles

Basic Vanilla Candles

Oh, you love vanilla candles? So do 12-year-olds. It's time to up your candle game.

Animal Cat Face t-shirt
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T-Shirts or Sweater With Animals Motifs

Nope, not even if Christian Sirano designed it or if your mom gave it to you.

Ultra Fine Cosmetic Grade Glitter makeup
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Glittery Makeup

With the possible exception of New Year's Eve and Halloween, glitter has no business being a part of a 30-year-old's makeup routine.

Booty shorts

Booty Shorts. Gross.

No one wants to see a 30+ woman's underbutt in too tiny of shorts.


Jewelry From the Mall

There is so much good and inexpensive jewelry to be found on Etsy that a 30-year-old woman would be a fool to keep shopping for cheap jewelry at Claire's alongside preteen girls.

The prom dress

Your Old Prom Dress

Go ahead and put it in storage, but don't keep it in the back of your closet like you still might bust it out to wear again someday. Does it even still fit?

Marathon t-shirt

Freebie T-Shirts

You know the ones, like that t-shirt from the marathon you ran in 2003 or the one from that 2005 girl's trip to Vegas. Seriously, unless they have major sentimental value, get some new T-shirts to wear.

Jeans don’t fit

Clothes That Don’t Fit

The body you have at 30 is likely the one you're going to have for the foreseeable future, so it's time to get realistic with yourself and throw away any clothes that don't currently fit.


Impersonal Souvenirs

Those generic tchotchkes you picked up from your trip to Paris or San Francisco in your twenties before you realized that buying an awesome dress or a piece of artwork was a way better souvenir? Add them to the toss pile.

Over The Door Mirror
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Over-the-Door Full-Length Mirrors

Sure, everyone needs a good selfie mirror, but over-the-door ones scream "dorm room" whereas oversized mirrors placed up against a wall say "Parisian-inspired sophistication."

Old towels

Worn-Out Towels

Hopefully by 30, you can afford to throw out household items like bathroom towels once they've become ratty and are past their prime.

Stuffed Cabbage Patch Toys

Stuffed Animals

Sorry, Snoopy and Cabbage Patch Kids. You don't belong on a 30-year-old's bed.

Ramen noodles

Instant Ramen

By 30, you should have some quick go-to meals that you can whip together that are far more delicious and healthy than instant ramen cups.

Woman in mittens

Mittens? No.

Grown women need to use their fingers, even when they're hands are cold - something you can't do wearing childish mittens.

Falling down steps

High Heels You Can’t Walk In

There's nothing sadder than seeing a 30-year-old woman slowly hobbling down the street, so just admit that 6-inch stilettos are not your thing if you haven't learned to properly walk in them by now.

Mirrored Friends Picture Frame
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Kitschy Picture Frames

Don't you think those "BFFs" or "Best Day Ever" photo frames would be better suited in a 22-year-old's dorm room and not in the bachelorette pad of a full-grown woman?

Shot Glasses
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Those Shot Glasses From Spring Break

Considering that 30-something dinner parties typically include wine and civilized conversation and not belly shots, you probably won't need these in your entertaining arsenal anymore.

JanSport backpack
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That Old Jansport

Between gym bags, briefcases, and oversized satchels, an adult lady has a lot of bag options. There is no reason why you should be toting around an old-school backpack.

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30 Things No Self-Respecting Woman in Her 30s Should Own